The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
