i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
