You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
