We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
