I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
