i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
My bed is full of blood and feathers
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
