She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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