Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
how does that bad decision feel?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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