i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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