What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
