when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
