Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
