i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
