not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
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