is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
