You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
