I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
