I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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