Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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