Define "chronic" masturbator.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
