I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
