Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
