We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Randomize
