Fine. I'll sleep in my office
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
