dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
