We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
