I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
