I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
