Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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