I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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