I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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