I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
