Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
