also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
thus making me awesome and them whores
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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