would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
