guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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