Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Can Purell be used as lube?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
