Umm I'm too high to move.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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