i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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