butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
My vagina is very pro this idea
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
