David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
