he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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