Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
