There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
