We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
