It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
