If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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