i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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