I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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