You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
