At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
