I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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