She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
