using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
